But overthinking me and my choices.
Am I on the right path? Do I know where I am going?
Have I aligned myself with the right people for me?
What information am I missing and what would I do with it if I had it?
I think that last question is important. If I knew the truth or knew I already had the truth would that change anything?
Would I do anything differently? Am I capable of doing it differently.
I was thinking the other day about that capability. I am finally in a spot to recognize some of my quirks. It is brain development and trauma that has lead to some of this but that doesn’t give me the right to let it negatively affect others.
So how do I change something 50 years in the making?
How do I make someone more comfortable and aware that what I give to them is more of a reflection of what they are giving to me and to others. it’s masking in my own little quirky way.
But that is not really my job, is it. Their job is to develop their own boundaries and communicate them. My job is to listen to that even when they don’t know how to consistently enforce them.
And I do understand that issue a good deal.
But that is not really what I am overthinking today. That I have moved on from and settled in my mind.
Today I am on to something new but not really new. Just an old pattern of not knowing.
Lisa Gray 