I’ll forget

I know I will. As soon as I hear him. As soon as a kind word is said.

I will forget that this belongs in another box. This should be a low stakes thing.

It’s not life’s most important thing. They are not the ones that know you and I mean really know you in a way that helps them understand you and connect with you on a whole different level. They don’t get how you relate to others. They don’t know who you are deep down. They haven’t really been paying attention and that is ok. It was you that told yourself something different, not them. Others do pay attention.

Those people are high stakes and I should be focused on not pushing them away.

But somehow it seems too late for that and I don’t know how to get back.

Back to the land of secure relationships and the I don’t give a fuck what other people besides the most important people think about me.

I am not sure where that time went and not sure how it became so hard to decipher who fits in what box.