I Like to be Nice

I had an interesting back-and-forth with someone who wrote a lovely story about degradation.

And then I immediately commented on someone’s picture and told them how well they did sharing.

That is the thing. I can be all those things. I can want to be a brat and poke the sadist. Make them want to degrade me and hurt me because I know that is what they want. I know we can call it something else. Manipulation and toxicity, but they can also call it what they want. Something they want to pull out of me.

I try very hard to be positive and the nice person, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am also an emotional masochist more than a physical one. I want to play around in those dark edges but then come back up for a breath. Be loved loudly and romanced. Then drag me back into your hell. Make me miserable with it and then show me you only do it because you care. You only want to show me what I am capable of. You only want to feed me that power.

You want it as much as I want to give you consent to do it.