I saw this somewhere and now I cannot find where. I thought it was funny and fit me at the same time so I used it in a caption today for a towel tease post.
And it is tragic right now. I was thinking about why that is and if I really cared. I can use the time to heal. And unlike my mother’s thinking, you do not need to be in a romantic relationship to be successful or live the kind of life god has planned for you. That is how she would put it.
What is the real tragedy, anyway? That I have fallen in love with someone in my head. It is not unlike falling in love with a book character and then not wanting anyone who does not measure up to the exact thing. That faceless man that your head creates when you read characters on a page. The outline is there, but the details are missing.
And then you find someone that is so close and matches you so well, maybe too well, but you don’t know for sure. You are just guessing they are as empathic as you and more avoidant. But you don’t know if that is the case or if your mind is overthinking and overanalyzing and projecting things to make sense of what is happening.
You just know how easy it was and haw hard it was. Easy to feel connected and hard to stay connected. Easy to see how they fit but hard to actually fit. Easy to trust and easy to doubt.
The emotional masochist is begging you to do it again, but collective wisdom says rest isn’t a bad thing.
