I don’t know how to write this

Or even if I should. I might should just sit with it more.

I love him. And I hate the world. I hate it for showing me what this could really be like and then tearing it away from me over and over.

I just had this feeling that he was mine. He was made for me. We both had our own little quirks with our attachment styles and relationship ptsd. This was likely not the time for us. But I don’t want to be someone he needs a break from. I don’t want to turn my key.

The only thing he was ever wrong about was that I will be fine without him.

I want to fight it, but I don’t know who to fight with about this. And I don’t know how.