I keep coming back to it. And today, entitlement has crossed my path a few times.
I was thinking about today and what I owed others and how I needed to work on what I felt I was owed. We can sometimes put pretty words around it. Words like boundaries and needs, and you shouldn’t ignore those, but if you are constantly focused on your own, you might find yourself a very lonely person.
But someone today wrote about how we can sometimes feel entitled when it comes to getting attention from others. This is something I have had to work on, and I haven’t always really understood the framing of it.
It is so different when you are in a secure relationship, and you have someone in front of you all the time. Much harder when that is not the case. Much harder in friendships, too, when you are not exactly sure if someone is really your friend or just being nice.
Either way, you are not entitled to them or their time just as they are not entitled to yours. What I hate seeing, though, is how you can make mistakes and constantly focus on your needs, and when you try to work on it, you are still seen as entitled. They still hear your words with the time they assume (let’s not forget what assuming does).
Balance comes when you need someone to see you differently, or you need them to understand why and what you need, and come at that with understanding instead of hurt. Come with compromise instead of blowing them off. Come at them assuming good intent. But that ignores the need they may have for peace, a drama-free environment.
So even if I want a do-over or want understanding. I am not entitled to it.
Hopefully this writing was vague enough to make you just as confused as I always am.
Lisa Gray 