I just finished binging Tip Toe. It is a mini-series on Channel 4 in the UK.
I knew it would be hard going into it, but Alan Cummings makes everything good, so I was set to be charmed by him no matter what character he played. The Governor from The Walking Dead also stood opposite him, and when I heard Russell T Davies was the writer, I knew I had to watch it. I am a bit of a Dr. Who fan. Not necessarily a super fan, but still enough of one that I recognize the names of my two favorite writers on the show, Russell and Stephen Moffett. (And also remember that the governor was on an episode of Dr. Who.)
The whole time watching, I knew we were building up to something. I could tell something really bad was going to happen, even though I was warned about it. You could feel the tension building.
The show itself does a good job of shedding light on a problem I see in society today. Hate. The way we are backsliding in a big way on human rights.
You see, I think we are all human and free to love who we want. I believe in kindness over selfishness. I believe we all should get to live our lives the way we are meant to live them. I do not believe society or other people’s feelings should dictate mine.
I also think we are allowed to believe what we want. We should be able to have discussions and conversations about things we do not like or feel strongly against, and not turn to hatred and violence.
It is something you see all the time on social media, whether it is someone just wanting attention and playing devil’s advocate to get it, or people who feel strongly about something, or have true hate in their heart for anyone other. And I phrase it that way because it can happen on both sides.
Systemically, though, our society is built around privilege and the heteronormative way of life that gives cis men a leg up. I have that privilege, too, and I know it. I sometimes use it to my advantage, like the way I can be very open about my lifestyle. Not everyone has that privilege. And having it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or should get defensive. Just recognize how the system was made and the flaws in that system.
The show reminded me of this heaviness that we are living in all over the world in places that are supposed to be enlightened. The wrong people are made to be scared. Those who hate should be scared to share it.
But we don’t have to agree on everything to coexist without cruelty. If we can negotiate complex power dynamics behind closed doors with care and mutual respect, we should be able to negotiate basic human decency in the public world we live in and kink in.
Let’s just be kind to one another.
Lisa Gray 