When I met my husband, I had that sense. There were so many intersecting points to our lives, but also things I needed to be healthier and ready to recognize someone who loves me. It couldn’t have happened any sooner.
And it really hasn’t happened in the same way sense.
I have been really struggling with this. I don’t expect that everything will align and fate will bring me anyone else. I don’t know how that could happen. Thinking about the future, though, and feeling connected to others in a way where there is a longing for that.
I wish there was something more, and sometimes it does feel fated. But is it feeling that way because it is? Or is it just wishful thinking on my part?
Sometimes you have intense emotional starts, especially when you jump into the language of dynamics. And when you settle in and slow down, it almost feels wrong. Like the intensity should be there. But that is not a healthy way to move forward.
Your body needs peace.
But I grow addicted to the intensity. To the darkness that can lie under the surface. The way I question everything. To the way my body feels like a teen again, so unsure of myself and others. Why do I like that?
Lisa Gray 