I saw a post asking about how we would feel if social media went away. It made me think about a certain site and my friends there. For the most part, anyone I need or would want to stay connected to, I can through other means, but there are one or two who I would lose forever and be very sad about. For most of the people there following me, they are not real people in my life or in my mind. I appreciate them and love the attention that comes my way when I post, but it is not something that feels real (not like getting attention from Daddy).
But I was thinking about how we could see two types of people on social media. You have those who come and go and could take it or leave it. It is a bit of fun when they get bored, but they have a full life outside of it with lots of family and friends and connections in the real world of all types. On the other side of that, there are people who see the connections online as something very real. Their friends there are their connection to the world. They may have random things going on outside of the online environment but they live for the connections they have online.
Like everything else in my life, I float somewhere in the middle. I used to have a very full life outside of online communities. I lived and “dated” in a time before cell phones even existed, if you can even imagine that. I remember trying to get together with my husband when we first started to become friends and having to play phone tag with him because he was spending the weekend with his dad. I at least had an answering machine that was somewhat helpful.
There were times over the last several years when menopause really affected me, and I started struggling bad with brain fog and depression. I disconnected from everyone around me. At this time, I could see myself living online almost completely. I still had relationships, a job, and kids, but they began slowly taking a back seat to the only community I was finding and the writing that I wanted to do. I will not give up writing, but I am definitely letting some of the online stuff take a back seat so I can try to figure out some kind of direction. And I really want to put energy into figuring out how to give more energy to those I care about, especially those who show they care about me.
I think we all have to find the right balance for ourselves.
Lisa Gray 