Every Wednesday, there is a writing prompt. This week was I am not yours. My brat would have a field day with this. It is a weird time, though, to see it. My Apple Music is already sending me all sorts of signs, playing those bratty heartbreak songs
You put on a playlist, and suddenly it decides for you. I was going to write today about Ted Lasso, but I will wait. Let that sit for a day. It was a really good finale, and I do not regret watching it as soon as it came out.
But I am not yours. How do I play with that? It reminds me of times over the last 4 years when I have been owned, very owned, and I would sing along to You Don’t Own Me very ironically.
That is the thing. I like being owned. A lot. There is something about it when you set up a dynamic in just the right way that it is freeing and not confining. When you have a choice, and you have agency, and what you choose is them. You choose to connect yourself to a person in that way. And when you fall in love with them because they show you they choose you as well. I need that.
I have spent the last month thinking I won’t ever get to have it the way I had it, and I don’t need people anymore, but the hope hasn’t left me. Not really. It is too addictive to be wanted in that way. To feel someone need you and hunger for you like that.
