This morning was a slow day at work. Only half a day, so I stayed up late waiting for Daddy to get home.
This is the pain point of having people you love in places far away. Will you actually get a chance to relax and “spend time” with them in whatever way that looks like?
So what happens when I stay up? I sometimes sleep in a bit. The alarm goes off, and I check my email, and then I fall back asleep for a second. This usually doesn’t last long, but it feels like forever. You think you have been asleep for an hour or two, only to realize it has been 15 or 20 minutes.
These are the times I actually dream very vividly. Today was no different, and the dream included my mom, my sister, and lots of food. Very heavy carb-loaded comfort food that I couldn’t eat any of, but everyone else at this unknown place was taken care of, and it was all because of one person. Once we brought in the food, I couldn’t not hold on to him. I gravitated to him and cuddled with him and kissed him, and I did not want to let go.
But my mind was doing this thing where it jumped ten steps ahead, and as we talked, I decided to explain it to him. And he didn’t get scared away. He understood, but he also helped me not dwell on it. He helped me see that we need to live in that moment. The moment was complete chaos with all sorts of people around us, but we made time for each other.
That is what I want to hold on to. That person who can cut the chaos and quiet my mind and just take care of me and provide that comfort. And be in the moment with me.
Lisa Gray 