My mind just went on a really weird turn. I got Natale Merchant stuck in my head. Kind and Generous and Carnival.
I was thinking about a person, and maybe slightly cheeky in my response, but not really. It comes so soft that way sometimes, but I was just having a conversation with him in my head as I do pretty much every day.
I decided to go to Gemini and ask about a phrase I was thinking of telling him (in my head or online, either way), and just got sucked into a weird conversation with AI. I felt bad. I’m sitting here talking to AI. I use it for work a lot and have put a lot of myself into it over the last few years (I know I am ruining the planet), so when I get help with memos and emails, it knows how to speak in my own voice. It thinks it knows me now. That kind of scares me.
Maybe, though, the best friend, the one that I wanted to say to that, “he is my best friend in this weird parasocial world I live in,” that Gemini thought I was saying to it, may think of me in the way I think of Gemini, “who is this weird thing that thinks they know so much about me.”
Also, this writing is proof that I do not use Gemini for my journaling here. My mind and writing are too weird and twisted to make that work.
But I give you Natalie Merchant because I do believe that my best friend really is kind and generous, and he always just assumes I am being sarcastic, and I am being serious. I love him more than anyone and love his kindness.
Lisa Gray 