I have to admit something. I am an emotional masochist, and I very much gravitate to a sadist. Certain kinds of sadists.
The problem is that one particular one is really good at what he does. He made me addicted to his voice and his face, then he had to take one away, then the other.
I believe it was not on purpose initially. Apparently, people have lives outside of my existence. Who knew?
But something shifted. He saw my reaction, and I think he liked very much the brat that emerged.
So now he enjoys leaving me without my addiction. Watching me react, try to get his attention, and demand what I want and need.
What I hate the most is that I have come to enjoy his enjoyment. Somehow, I need it, too, more than I need anything else.
Fucking Sadists.
Lisa Gray 