The Cuddle

It has been a bit since I had a cuddle. I was thinking about that tonight. The type of closeness that comes with that type of intimacy. I am ready for it, but it has to be just right. I have become so prickly lately with that. Certain people just really know how to touch me. And certain ones do not.

I have often told my husband I don’t know how he got so lucky to swoop in and sweep me off my feet when he did. I used to beg for his touch. We would not have sex for a day, and I would get so needy, climbing on top of him, touching him, rubbing my breasts up against him. The days of no kids and a lot less responsibility. Why is it that when we were young with energy, we didn’t have all the things on our plates?

The thing is, I do miss that type of connection. I enjoy the space, but I love knowing someone in that way. Having it feel easy.

Watching the Materialist right now and lots of interesting quotes and discussions about how people match up and how love exists.

“Love has to be on the table.” It does for me. Touch is harder without that.

“I’m a girl that you go home with once.” I am afraid that is where I am. I am the one they talk to for a little while. I can role-play a few sexy things, but then that is it. That is all they want from me, and when the sex goes away, there is nothing. Nothing left to connect with.