Do you ever feel at times as if you’re not a person? What I wish to say is that you’re not truly present, nor alive, as if you’re at the whim of another, like a dog. Someone or something had the power to breathe life into you, to move you. (Ellen Hunter from Nosfurato)
When I captured this quote, I was thinking of something that breathes life into me in a deliciously sweet way. I feel so needy for it. But sometimes it can be all in your head, that anxiety breathing into you that has you wrapped up in knots. I have been at their whim this week. A trip that didn’t happen and the worry that goes with wondering if it will ever happen, dog sitting instead which ended with mom sitting and another trip to the hospital. Lots of things that need to be put in motion now and decisions to make, turning a presentation next week into a lifeline for a much-needed break from everything instead of the normal anxiety I would feel speaking in front of people.
But these times also reveal those that are there for you even when you try to take on everything yourself. I am thankful for that lesson today.
But I will still dream of those moments where he can breathe life into me, where he can move me because I am already at his whim.
Lisa Gray 