Waiting

Sitting in a spa lounge with too much time on my hands before a massage.

About once a year, I get a gift certificate for a massage. I used to spend way too much money myself on massages and getting waxed. Part of why I am spending a lot of my pay check now on paying off credit cards. although groceries and things kids must have are a bigger part of what was charged.

I’m here now ready to relax but I am also reading smut. I am getting way too hot from the over sized robe, coffee, and menopause. The smut is also doing a little bit of over heating me., too.

Having thoughts about my romantic relationship ending and the possibility of another one beginning.

It is hard to see an end. I have always had a relationship and some times more than one. This is one of those moments where so much is different and yet I am still a mom and still living the same life as before but not exactly the same.

Middle age is a wild ride.