Feeling used, but I’m
Still missing you and I can’t
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time is passing by
But I still can’t seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need youI hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don’t want to, but I can’t put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I’ll never be her
My emotional masochism can take many forms. It is about not knowing a healthy kind of love and not feeling deserving of that.
(Most of my trauma I have worked through so please do not feel bad for me)
For me now, it is also about wanting the challenge. I love crushing on people and I love questioning and overthinking current or potential partners.
I can be one of those people who borders on addiction to that feeling of NRE, but a lot of that is connected to this feeling of not knowing. My mind loves to play around with these feelings of anxiety, fear, and excitement. Do they want me like I want them? What types of feelings do they have about me? Am I happier if I think they do want me or they don’t want me?
Love and hate are both better than indifference.
Lisa Gray 