What does that even mean?
I would love for people to focus on the recovery part of that phrase. Have them not assume just because they exist, they are entitled to my energy in some way.
It is funny about that giving of energy. In my case, I save it for those who do not immediately give a lot back. I reserve my energy for the connections that build heat gradually; it’s more realistic. The people who pour gasoline on the relationship from day one usually flame out just as fast as they started.
They tend to be the ones who sit around not wanting to be alone. They are bored in the moment and want to temporarily occupy their minds. They don’t see you; they see their fantasy of you.
It is not even limerance when they spend enough time with you to carefully craft the perfect version of you. I wouldn’t mind that as much. Show me who I could be with less roughness around the edges. Maybe it can be something to aspire to.
But I spend too much time doing that myself. Seeing people for who I want them to be. It is selfish, really. This is why I am still recovering, because who I want them to be is someone who will let me be the one to please them.
Lisa Gray 