Too Much

Do you ever have one of those days where everything just seems too much? You see things you do not want to see, everything is just magnified.

I was thinking about the longing I feel for something else. The wish for something. I’m ok with keeping ot the dream of things, but sometimes it is frustrating when you don’t have those usual things that shut off the brain. I was having dirty thoughts about this. Thinking of the ways my brain could go silent.

I go through stages, from having three or four people at my tail to being utterly and completely alone. It is sometimes me and the isolation I chose, but I don’t always want that isolation. I don’t always want to be left alone. Not by everybody. But it takes effort to make your way in and be someone I will accept. I hope for that effort more than anything.

Sometimes I think the world is too much, then I think I am.