I think I am likely reusing an idea, but I am reminded of it today. I am seeing things from a different view. Watching others go through things I have. There are a number of reasons people act the way they act, and we can’t know all of them. Sometimes it is just them taking care of themselves, and sometimes they just can’t see it from your view. You can’t see what it looks like inside you, even when you know better and know it is about them and not you.
I know that if they wanted to see you as anything but an object, they would. If they wanted to be your firend they would. If they could reach out, they would. If their app were suddenly not working, they have other ways to get in touch. If you shared yourself with them and had something more to offer than just sex and heat and a moment of release, then they would stop treating you like you were a disposable sext toy.
If they wanted you for more than just a friend, they would tell you. If they wanted to be friends, they would reach out instead of you reaching out all the time. If they wanted to give you attention and wanted attention from you, then you wouldn’t be the one begging for it all the time.
Maybe they do want you, but they are not emotionally or physically available, and you are just not worth the effort. There was never any real connection. They just wanted to use you.
If they wanted you, all of you, they would come and get you.
Lisa Gray 