There is something comforting about being able to smell someone you love.
I had two dreams this week that touched on my primal urge to smell someone. They were so vivid, I could actually smell them. And it was nothing like any of my other past partners. The first dream was so sweet and satisfying.
I can still be triggered by smells.
A certain Pantene shampoo reminds me of a trip to the beach with my mom as a teen. I remember showering to get the pool water and sand off of me and watching Zanadu in this motel room to get out of the sun. A certain laundry detergent reminds me of times sleeping in someone else’s bed, the feel of their sheets, and them surrounding and smothering me. I remember the smell of my teenage crush the first time we had sex.
Today’s early-morning dream seemed more frustrating. I understand where it is coming from and why I might be dreaming about this. But I was disturbed by the vividness. I was finally introduced to someone and came up to hug them. The reaction and connection between us weren’t great. And then a mutual friend explained to me that he really was not into smells. Honestly, the conversation made no sense at all. Words were scattered, but I somehow understood the meaning. We were just not compatible.
No matter how badly I want something, it does not mean it is available to me.
Lisa Gray 