Edging and Denial

I just posted a status about how WhatsApp was doing more to edge and deny me than anything else.

Work is doing a good job, too. Creating a chaotic space in my head and then adding a break in your normal routine and life changing all around you.

It reminds me a lot of my youngest. We may have more of the same brain than I thought. We both have the need for security and stability. We need structure. I find myself struggling to hold on to things in my brain.

I also like having someone to be a muse. I want someone to focus on. I want to feel needed in a more adult way. That doesn’t mean I am not falling in love with the person. I can see that happening, too. That is why it is so much harder to deal with when they disappear, whether it is just for a day because WhatsApp is being mean or longer because they have to travel.

It seems that I will continue to be in this edging and denial phase. Spending one day at a time getting through the monotony of life.