Connecting

My mind does lots of rambles. I was thinking today of how I have a wide range of people that land in my inbox and in my ama. It is interesting to me how I can tell from one word that the intent of this person is not something I want. That this person is not someone I will be able to connect with. But I do end up connecting to a few people who randomly dm me. Not often. But it has to be someone who reaches out to me and shows interest.

The next path: I was thinking about the last ama about my favorite vibrator and how that connects to the intent of someone, and how to connect to people. I bought my Nora at the request of a young man from the UK. (I have a weakness for accents.)

One of the reasons he wanted me to get it is so I would get the app and control his toy, too. Nothing good comes from people trying to get me to take control. Honestly.

He wanted to play one night while I was at a bar in the middle of a munch or poly gathering. There is nothing like the anxiety of failing at something when you are in a bathroom with loud music blaring, trying to figure out how to even connect on the app, much less control their toy.

Connection is important in this as well. I will not be a mommy. I will not top in any way. I can only be demanding and feral when I have that energy with someone. And I have to want to please that person. I have to care.

Ramble over and now I am thinking about the hope I have to connect with someone special someday. I won’t give up hope completely. I will find someone to be comfortabley feral with.