Two things came across my feed the last few days that have me reflecting on my role as a submissive. I tend to lean into the service side of things.
Domestic servitude is a role I have played all my life (Not actually exaggerating). I have no memories further back than 3 1/2 years old, but I am sure I only had a 2-year grace period before I was forced into some type of house labor. So you can do the math if you know I am middle-aged now.
These types of learned behaviours are hard to grow out of, but at the same time, my body and mind are growing older and are much less competent at keeping up with the level of servitude I experienced growing up.
There are still some services free to me, and I will never grow out of the feeling of needing to be of value to someone. Telling me and showing me I am wanted is important. I want to be wanted for all sorts of reasons, those and not just to be used.
I want to feel that I made someone’s day, made them smile, but I also want to affect them in other ways. I want the hunger and the need. I miss that so much.
Lisa Gray 