How do you dance? Do you sway back and forth? Do you follow structured steps? Do you flow all across the dance floor as if floating on the breeze?
Dancing has always been a part of my life. It started with tap and ballet. Then there was the notion that I could not say no to anyone who asked.
If you found me at a school dance, I would be holding up the wall, maybe getting dragged out to the fast songs with a group of friends.
But so many weekends found me in dance halls with family and random strangers. I would hide out in the pool room at times, so I would not have to dance some of the fast songs. But most of the time, I did enjoy dancing, particularly basic two-steps and waltzes, as well as the occasional faster version that fell somewhere between a waltz and a polka.
But I was learning my submissive behaviour even in this. Be able to be led. Let someone drag you to the dance floor. Do not say no.
I am now in a moment where I want to dance, but I have to figure out how to do it myself. I can’t count on others to lead me as they have always done. Hoping for the right song that allows me to move to the music any way I want. And if someone wants to take the lead for a second, I can say yes, instead of not being able to say no.
Lisa Gray 