I say that with love. I love the energy the sadist brings. I especially love ones that do not take themselves too seriously. I have known some really creative ones.
The best sadists will know how to push their bottoms without going too far. It is a matter of good punishment and funishment that can make us miserable but also give us the right type of attention.
Many times, what you find is that a lot of us bottoms/submissive/masochists are just a bunch of attention whores.
So when a sadist, tries to punish by taking away that attention. It seems more like abuse to me. The thinking behind it is that it strengthens the bond because the bottom will know how much she needs the connection once it is removed. For many of us who grew up with neglect and have had to work through being raised by avoidant attachers and feelings of abandonment, our reactions are not the same.
For me, I dissociate and detach. I get to a place where I see that I do not need anyone and will just rely on myself as I have so often had to do as a child.
It is so important for anyone in a relationship to understand their partners, who they really are, and how they react to things.
Lisa Gray 