It is Friday night and I am living my best life at home hiding in my room and binging trash tv. Yes, this is what my kinky life is like. Lots of time prioritizing my peace mixed with play time and sexy times flirting with other people. Some weeks, I have way too much fun time and other weeks it is me at home most of the time. I appreciate that time to myself a lot of the time, though.
I am watching this show Love is Blind and I was thinking about the choices I have made. I get envious of these people that get into this NRE phase and get to have their world ahead of them. I don’t necessarily regret the life I have led up to this point. I have had a lot of good things and appreciate how things have unfolded.
But I also wonder what were the choices I could have made. Could I have found kink earlier? Would I have been ready? So much of poly and kink requires good communication. I am not always good at that now, but I was awful at that earlier. I had so much to heal from and so many things I did not have figured out and some days I feel maybe I still do not.
Its this thinking that makes me believe that things come to you when you are ready. I have lots of thing that I crave now, but I will try to be patient and understand just as before, I will get the things and the understanding when I am supposed to get those things.
Lisa Gray 