Kinky Thoughts

Random Facts About Me

Lisa Gray

  1. A lot of what I like in kink besides the sex parts is power exchange. Part of this is the way my sister and I dealt with childhood trauma. She became mean and angry and fought back and I used her as a protector (always the shy one). I wouldn’t necessarily say I was a damsel in distress type but I love having that sense of someone having my back. Someone caring about me and having a sincere interest in me, my feelings, and my life.
  2. My childhood also turned me into someone hypervigilant and someone who will do what is necessary to please someone.
  3. As a child, I had access to all sorts of things I should not have had access to but I also had a weird understanding of everything, too. I could watch HBO and skinamax at a young age and pick apart what was a reflection of real life and what was porn fantasy. I had a good theoretical knowledge of sex and relationships before I had too much practice.
  4. My first time with vaginal penetration (when I lost my “virginity”) was when I was 16. We did it in the cab of his pickup parked underneath a very busy overpass. This would not be the end of my sex in cars in busy areas phase. That didn’t end until about 5 years ago maybe. I am too old to want to do that now. I like beds. Maybe walls if you are slamming me up against it. Some partners even give me a pillow to kneel on. That is exceptional service and caring, but I don’t always need that.
  5. I have some experience in kink. I rather say it like that than say I am an experienced kinkster. I think calling yourself experienced is a bit subjective. Experienced in what and is it relevant to whatever you are about to do or talk about?
  6. I feel like I have always been a bit of an experimentalist. I love trying new things. I don’t always like everything, but a lot of that has to do with the person I am with. So much of their energy and enjoyment seeps into me and makes things I would normally not even consider suddenly become something I need.
  7. When I first started experimenting and researching kink, I did not consider myself a masochist at all. This has changed over the years. I still see myself as more of an emotional masochist, but a masochist nonetheless. Just not one that can orgasm from pain. I get other things out of that pain. Again, it really depends on my partner and what type of energy I am feeding off of them.
  8. Did I mention energy from others is important to me?
  9. Six years ago was my first impact scene. It was more of a demo. I had no idea what it would be like so he planned a scene that may have lasted 30 min. The next scene was longer and ended with me having an orgasm. I still remember it. The person that gave me a demo later became my dom along with his wife. He is one of a very short list of people that I have done impact scenes with. I have done many now both in public and private. I like both for the different energy that it brings.
  10. There were several things I did too much of before it was time I should have done them. This applies to sex and alcohol.
  11. Sometimes I say something in my head or to someone privately and I think, damn that was good I need to share that out or expand on it. I then share it and no one notices or reacts. I spend 10 seconds quickly typing a thought I had into a status thinking I just want to save the thought for later, no one will look at it anyway, and then I get reactions. That is similar sometimes with pics. I spend 10 secs lifting up my phone and taking the shot. That gets more likes than some I really thought about, set the timer, played with angles, and tried on several outfits.
  12. I also want to experience more sex and relationship stuff with women. It is harder because I am shy and no matter who I am interested in, I need them to be the aggressor. And I really like aggression and ego and confidence.
  13. My dream is to travel. I love the idea of retiring from my full time job and teaching part time online while I roam the globe. Writing would be a cool part of this.
  14. I have several degrees but could have had more. Kids and motivation and other reasons stopped me from obtaining a Phd. I have a degree in History and English and a degree in Library Science. Yes, I am a librarian but not like Evelyn (some of you may get this reference) She was more the historian and archaeologist. That was an interest of mine growing up along with museum work. The Indiana Jones movies were my favorites growing up.
  15. I grew up in a very spiritual, Christian household and I am now very much agnostic. So much of my family’s faith and my experience with it seemed performative. I struggled in college with learning about history and myths to see the bible in the same way my baptist upbringing wanted me to see it.
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Published by Lisa Gray

Former librarian turned wannabe author. Writing on my perspectives as a poly kinkster and submissive.

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