I received a question through my NGL post and I thought it was a great question to reflect on and write about.
In terms of your role as submissive, what is the best piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
What would I tell My Younger Self?
This is a great question, and I have thought about it a few times.
There is a balance that I am not sure I got right initially. There is a space or sweet spot between being in a frenzy saying yes to anything and everything and being too scared and insecure to ask for what I want and explore different things.
At one point, I was in a holding pattern waiting for the exact right person to come to me. I could have had some fun experiences and explored more.
But, I also went through a period of gaining a bit of confidence and getting a taste and saying yes to everything including people and experiences that didn’t serve me.
It took some time for me to say being a people pleaser does not have to mean I say yes to everything.
Even though I enter into a dynamic and I feel that their pleasure is my pleasure because of the bond we create, I can still be selfish and create boundaries and negotiate to make sure my needs are being met, the dynamic serves both of us, and the experience or relationship makes our lives better and more worthwhile.
I truly believe that when you are in a relationship or dynamic, it should add to your happiness and help you grow as a person.
If it does not, you might want to think about why you are there. Are you getting enough good out of it for the effort you are putting in?
Lisa Gray 