Today is Thoughtful Thursday. We were asked to think about all the different types of people that we could run into on social media. One of the points was that there are certain types of predators that are really obvious, but then there are other people who disguise themselves. Maybe they are not predators in the traditional sense, just emotionally unavailable and pretending to not be.
This prompt hit home for me. I may have a bit of experience with this, so I might sit with it for a while.
There are red flags, and then there are some that are more orange for me. I emphasize the for me. The qualities I am drawn to are not for everyone. As an emotional masochist, I enjoy hurting myself more than others hurt me. Every partner is a puzzle, and the more puzzling they are, the more I want to solve them.
But sometimes there is no puzzle; the narcissism and gaslighting are right there in front of you. How do you get through it? How do you solve it?
Just like kink itself, there is no one way. You decide for yourself what will be red and what will be green, and what are those things in between. What do you want in a partner? How long do you hold on to empathy? How far do you go to find the person inside, even if you both still need to grow?
Lisa Gray 