I Want

I want a fucking collar for Christmas.

Now imagine that sung to that damn hippopotamus song. My kids hated that song but had to sing it for choir.

I was looking at kinky, artsy photos this morning and saw some lovely kneeling with pretty collars. That has been a dream of mine for a long time, being in a dynamic and a relationship that deep with someone that feels the same way about the seriousness of that.

I always hold off or keep that to myself because it has to feel right. Of course, I tend to love getting close to those that are far away. I don’t know how to reconcile that sometimes. I think it is easier to fill in who you want them to be when they are not right in front of you.

I will continue to want things from them but I think I am more willing now to take it slow. Try to do it right. Try to be sure of who I am with them and who I am with me.