Touch

I have really good friends. I may not see them often, and they may not see me as someone to reach out to all the time, but it is nice having them in my life.

There are a few that are so good at giving healing hugs. I love them. I love that sense of comfort and being seen in that way.

I am ready for something else, though. I want a touch and a hug that leads to more. I am ready to see that look in their eyes that shows me I am desired. I want that touch that may start as comfort but is really something different. Something that reaches into my soul. Something that says I can’t not touch you. I need it.

Those long, lingering moments that you just don’t want to end. Staying up as late as possible can just to continue feeling that connection.

I am very passive in this, unfortunately. I wait until someone else tells me they want me. I wait for them to make the first move, insecure in my feelings, thinking I am the only one feeling this pull to them. So the longing looks and feelings will just have to be from me for now. Until one day, when I can feel that touch that sends me beyond comfort, beyond longing.