Today is one of those days that not everyone is happy and celebrating. I am a mother, but I do not spend every day appreciating that role. I feel some guilt, knowing I have taken on some of my mother’s avoidant attachment styles. There is some generational trauma that I wish I could have broken.
But, I did not have a completely terrible childhood, and I was not devoid of those that mothered me. There have been many family members and friends that took on that role for me. My aunt was one who was not my aunt by blood but no one that ran into us together when I was a child would know that.
I know there are many of you out there with more complex feelings on this day. As it happens, today is also my Daddy’s birthday and I wish he wasn’t way far away across an ocean and I could celebrate that with him.
It is an interesting coincidence that his birthday landed on Mother’s day because a lot of why I appreciate having someone in that role for me is my complicated relationship with my mother and lack of a positive father figure in my life.
In the past, I have thought negatively about people assuming that a person is into BDSM and kink play because they have some sort of trauma they can’t get past. Sometimes, it is trauma that leads us to this lifestyle, but BDSM and kink are not something we have to get past.
Lisa Gray 